Sunday, 1 January 2017

A look back at 2016!!

Hey everyone, as promised I am going to do a little look back at 2016. As it is the first day of 2017 I decided to reflect a little on the year.

Personally I thought 2016 was quite a nice year. Although like Kylie said:

Although she probably could have phrased it a little better, I think she was definitely right. This year was challenging but showed me things that were very important.

This time last year, I was heading into my Junior Cert exams. I was very anxious and  nervous about them because let's face I'm not the brightest person there is. This sounds silly to say now but for the first 2 months of school I used to come home and cry because I was terrified. That sounds silly now because really the junior cert was nothing to be scared of (I'll talk about that later). This time last year I was getting very anxious about my upcoming mock exams that were going to be in February. I spent most of my Christmas worrying therefore I didn't enjoy my Christmas and New Year as much as I would've liked.  

Surely February came and I had to face my mocks, I'm not gonna sit here and lie. I was shitting myself haha. I really was terrified. However, they definitely weren't as bad as I had made myself believe. If you are facing mocks soon, just remember that they are there to help you so when you get your results back you know where you need to work on. Also just to have the practice of sitting an actual exam and the stress and anxiety surrounding exams. I definitely didn't do good in the mocks but they definitely helped.

I'm not gonna lie my 2016 (while I was doing my Junior Cert) was pretty boring. I didn't really have much time to go travelling or doing fun things. Although it was stressful it has been my favorite year hands down. My friends and I, I think because it was so stressful did everything we could to make it as good as possible. We tried to keep each other motivated and happy even though it was difficult. Because I didn't do anything like that important (that I can remember) and nothing important (that I can remember) happened. I'm gonna skip to MAY.

I remember there being one week to my Junior Cert and me being terrrrified. With that being said I definitely didn't study, I really did the lowest amount of study. Unfortunately the day before my exams started my grandfather sadly passed away. This definitely crushed me because I loved and missed him so much (and still do of course). That was a hard blow the day before the exams, I remember that night I just had a massive panic attack and really struggled. 
That morning I woke up and felt kinda sick. I was terrified. Thankfully it was English the first day and I love English so it wasn't too bad. Getting into the exam room, my anxiety kicked off and I was shitttttting myself. After the first half an hour I forgot that I was doing an exam and I was fine. Looking back on it now, the Junior Cert was not even that bad at all. I made myself think it was going to be awful and it really wasn't seriously. I am so glad there is the Junior Cert because you do need something that sets you for the Leaving Cert. I have a Vlog of the day I got my results ( ) If you wanna go watch it.

I ACTUALLY PASSED ALL OF MY EXAMS. Wow.  I was over the moon!! I really did so much better than I thought I would. The top and skirt are both from Topshopppp. I love the top so much and even wear it casually, it is actually a khaki green which I love. And the skirt is so comfortable. I just put this in black and white because let's be real this isn't exactly the most flattering picture of me haha. 

 I did Transition Year instead of going into 5th year (even though I am probably a little too old). And I am SO happy I did it. Because after the stress of the Junior Cert it is really nice to have that break and a little bit of funnn. The highlight of my year HAS to be going to Italy in October, that was so amazing. I actully did vlog that too if you wanna go see it (wow I need to chill with that self promo). It by far is my favorite video that I've done. So I wouldn't miss it, if I were you;). ( ). If you follow my social medias, Instagram in particular you would've seen snippets of Italy because it's flooded in my feed but in case you haven't here you go:

Italy hands down was the highlight of a tough year. Spending time away in a foreign and beautiful country with friends and classmates is so amazing. You learn things about yourself and others that you didn't know before. 

Throughout the year I have struggled alot with anxiety. I cover that alot over here and a tiny bit on my YT. It is something that is always there and something that stops me from doing things occasionally. However I don't want it to let it stop me from doing things I want to do. Like going to concerts and things like that. It definitely has gotten better but I am not fully there yet. There is a massive stigma around mental health and coming out and talking about it. If you are struggling with ANY kind of mental health problem, you are NOT alone. I know that at times when you feel like everything is just crushing down on you and that you're crumbling and can't handle the pressure, there is always someone who loves you and someone you can talk to. Make the decision to tell someone and try and get help from there. It is something I am trying to work on at the minute. 
The buildup of exams got the better of me and I had panic attacks after panic attacks,the best thing you can do is sit down and talk to someone. Also I like to distract myself with things I like doing for example photography, or YouTube. Or I go for a walk to feel more refreshed. Stay Strong x

These past couple of months have been busy and intense. I lost my beautiful grandmother and another family member, that was a really hard blow. It never gets easier, but I know that they're in a better place watching over myself and the rest of my family. Through tough times you need the love and support of your family to help you get through it. 

Although the main reason we were in Birmingham was sad, it was beautiful at the same time. Funerals are so sad, it was a very difficult day but it was also a beautiful day because you remember the person and you celebrate their life. 

I had the opportunity of spending a lovely weekend in London with my family. I did actually Vlog this but because I was having so much trouble with editing and stuff I deleted it, which I actually regret a little. I went with my sister and my mom and I had a really lovely time. I did ALOT of Christmas shopping, I went to Big Ben and the Aquarium and Buckingham Palace, I had a really lovely time. The flag was up so the queen was home when we went. London is a really lovely place however if I'm being honest I definitely wouldn't like to live there. I am so used of living in the middle of nowhere where there is no noise and people to being put into chaos haha, but I did have a lovely time. Although I was in Oxford Street and my anxiety wasn't having any of it. It had just gone after 5 so everyone was coming home from school and work it really was delightful.   

I had an amazing Christmas, and I hope you did too! Christmas is my favorite time of the year, however this year it didn't feel as Chrismassy as usual.I was very very very very lucky to get a laptop off Santa. I'm actually using it now while writing this post. It is the Asus Transporter Book, I personally call her Alice the Asus ( I'm weird okay haaha) I got a bunch of other goodies as well. I am really am so grateful and lucky. I love how Christmas brings everyone closer together although I do find that it is the most stressful few months but I can deal. 

If anyone is interested I wore this beautiful playsuit and jumper combo from H&M: (Flash photography warning) 

I have also started exercising more, just because I want to feel more comfortable with it. And yes I do realize I look like I have a major food baby growing, but I am working on it haha. I don't want to call it a new year's resolution because I won't actually stick to it. Realistically I may not stick to it anyway but I can try.  Sports Bra: Dunnes Stores, Yoga Pants: H&M.

This year I am going to try and focus on my Anxiety, School, YouTube my Blog and my Happiness. If you have any suggestions on Blog Topics you would like me to cover comment and let me know, remember you don't have to have an account to comment you can comment Anonymously.  If you want to keep posted on my social medias give them a follow. My Instagram is: @http.lookitsfifi Twitter: @lookitsfifi Snapchat: fifimc99 (this my personal I don't have an actual Snapchat for my blog or youtube yet) And YouTube: Fiona McNamara 

If you have gotten to the end of this thank youuu. I hope you have an amazing day. I am definitely going to try to be more active over here. I am also trying to redecorate my Blog layout. Hopefully I can manage to do it.

Until next time, 
                         Fiona x 

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