I think some friends just separate which I wouldn't necessarily class as a fake friend, or you've got someone who only uses you when they have no one else (which I hate more than words can say) and you've got someone who is lovely to your face and horrible behind your back. I'm not going to lie, I've probably been a fake friend to someone at some point, but I would never hurt someone intentionally.
I am going to tell you my methods of spotting a fake friend and dealing with a fake friend.
Also, I am so sorry I didn't do a blog post last week, my schoolwork got very intense and I literally didn't have any time.
Disclaimer: To any of my friends reading this now, this is not about you (or maybe it is) no, haha it's not. Without further delay lets get into it.
Spotting fake friends:
This can be really tough at times. It's difficult to see something negative about a person you think so highly of. However, I do think they are definitely some warnings to look out for.
- Only using you when they have nobody else: I think this is the most striking. If you're in a situation where there is someone who completely ignores you when their friends are around, and they only talk to you when they have no one else! Get out of that situation. Chances are that they are using you! Nobody deserves that type of treatment, maybe these people aren't for you. Find yourself friends that actually care about you and actually want to include you.
- Doesn't invite you anywhere: By this I mean that they talk to you in school or work or wherever you may be, but doesn't talk to you outside of school (for example) at all. They don't text you, or they don't invite you to go places with them. This is a major red flag.
- Doesn't listen to you properly: Have you noticed that when you're talking to the person they only half listen or only half sympathise? This means that they honestly couldn't give a fuck. For example I was talking to someone the other day about something I was actually upset about and she literally said "oh lol". This made me feel really sad. I am glad it happened though because at least know I know she doesn't give a crap about me or my life! For me to realize this I had to talk to a really good friend of mine, and she made me realize this. (Thanks m'dear if you're reading this)
- Doesn't include you: Do you find yourself listening to your friends conversations but whenever you try and speak they ignore you or don't reply to what you said? Or they even may forget that you're there? If yes, get out of that situation. There are going to be places that you may not find that you fit into maybe with no fault of your friends or you, sometimes that's just life. Sometimes they are going to be a certain group of people that you just don't fit into, and that's okay. Just remember to get out of that situation because if you stay there you'll hurt yourself more.
Dealing with fake friends:
Now, that you have established that you have a fake friend(s), knowing what to do next is a tough one. I'm sure that everyone has very different ways of dealing with this. Here is what I would do:
- Slowly but surely part from them: by this I mean, just drift from them, if they are fake friends chances are they won't notice too much and if they are not by this they might realize that they aren't treating you the way you deserve to be treated, and may treat you better! At the end of the day you choose which one you think suits according to their reaction.
- Try not to get too down about it: I always say that friendship breakups are so much harder than boyfriend/girlfriend breakups because in my opinion you tell your friend everything and may know more about you depending on how long they've been your friend etc. And when you break up with a bf/gf its actually over if you get me. You need to realize that you deserve better.
- Surround yourself with people that make you feel comfortable: Personally, the biggest trait I look for in a friend is someone who I can feel 100% me around. Where I can just say the craziest things ever and they don't judge me too much for it. That for me is perfect! For me, judging from the fake friends that I have had if I ever said anything 'weird' they would just look at me funny. GET AWAY FROM THIS PERSON. What's the point of being with someone who just makes you regret everything you say?
- Don't go down to their levels: By this I mean do not treat them the way they treat you, it might of course give them a taste of their own medicine (which of course you can do if you want) but for me, I like to treat everyone well even if they have said bad things about me or treated me badly. This way I know that I am the bigger person and the more mature person in the situation, because really I don't have time for fake people or playing stupid back and forth games.
- Don't be afraid to be alone: This only applies if you have departed from these so called 'friends'. Of course if you don't spend time with these people anymore you may begin to feel a little bit alone. And that is of course understandable. Take this time to talk to new people, because who knows you could end up meeting more friends, and I hope this time around they are actually worth calling friends. Remember, never force yourself onto any group of friends, because you could suffocate them and they may not want to be your friend. Just be yourself and that is enough!
That is all my tips for dealing with 'fake friends' I really hope this helped! I know that dealing with fake friends can be a really tough situation and it can be mentally and physically draining but once you realize that you deserve so much better, everything will be okay! I really hope this helped! Also since, tomorrow is ST PATRICK'S DAY I am going to be uploading a ST PATRICK'S GRWM (Get ready with me) I'm not sure when it will be uploaded (hopefully on the 18th!) So stay tuned! Until then,
Lots of Love,
Fiona xx
