Friday, 4 December 2015

Mental breakdowns & how to overcome them

Hello lovelies, how are you all? I hope you're having a  great day and if not remember you can change it! 

As you can tell by my title this is about mental breakdowns and my tips. Honestly it is a really deep topic, and I am sorry! I just felt that this needed to be talked about I did want to give my opinions about it. I know most of my topics in this are quite deep, and I am aware that this is another deep blog, but I am going to try and make this motivational! 
This is something I am actually quite nervous to talk about, I'm not sure if I'm going to post it or not. And if I do, I really hope it helps! 

On Wednesday the 2nd of December (two days ago basically) I experienced something that I had never really.. Experienced before. It was so terrifying.
 I came home from school as normal (I didn't do supervised study) and up until then my day was actually going good, I was happy. However, it didn't last for long. I remember having quite a lot of study to do, and some homework I was finding quite difficult. I was also feeling very sick, my stomach was sore and I had a headache. I remember sitting down to do my English homework and this wave of anxiety washed over me. I started getting really nervous and I started shaking. I didn't realise how nervous and terrified I was for my exams in June until that moment. I started crying, and I coudn't stop. (I'm not going to go into too much detail about this because I don't want this to be very depressing). I tried so hard to do my homework and I just cried again and again. Eventually it was nine o'clock (I started my homework at half five) and I still hadn't even finished my English homework. I was so so anxious and I was freaking out. I asked my guardians for a note to excuse me from my homework for that night and thankfully they wrote the note. 

I don't think I have ever, experienced something so terrifying and so draining. It was so awful, thankfully I don't experiance this often, I do get panic attacks quite frequently and they had nothing on what I had just experienced. (Of course in having said that panic attacks are still terrifying).  
I can't remember ever feeling so down, sad and alone in a really long time. And all of this because of school? 
If some of you know me in person you'll know that I worry about everything literally!! I am what, four months in school and already am so mentally and physically drained from it. This doesn't even motivate me to study, it motivates me to sleep! I am trying my best, but it's so hard when you get so much homework and then are expected to study! 
I think the reason I completly broke down is because since I have started school I've been so worried and haven't really talked to anyone about it. So I have bottled it all in! Which is never ever good. 
Literally can relate to this so much!!! 

Apart of me feels that this is going to last right before my exams (and probably get worse). I really don't know how long I can deal with this, as I've said already it is so mentally and physically draining. I am not going to end this like this, I am going to give some of my tips (that seem to work for me)! 

1. Acknowledgement. Acknowledge what you are feeling, do not ignore it. (It makes it worse).

2. Relax. Breathe. Remember in for 10 and out for 10 and do this until you start to feel so much more relaxed. 

3. Do not be afraid to cry! Crying actually helps so much, it lets out emotion that possibly has been trapped for ages. (Let it gooooo) 

4. Talk to someone! This is so important! If you're like me and keeps everything bottled in, tell someone you trust it helps so much! As they say 'a problem shared is a problem halved' 

5. Do something you love doing, something that relaxes you! No matter what it is! For me it's photography and watching YouTube! And even writing this blog! This helps me so much! Do what you love doing! 

For me this breakdown happened because of school. And I get so mad at myself when I let school be the reason for my anxiety and tears. It really annoys me. I'm stressed all the time in school! I will put on a brave face but deep down, I'm not doing good! 

If you're like me and finding school really difficult, remember that as long as you're doing your best that is all that matters! Please don't be like me and compare your results to anyone else's! Even when people are like 'what did you get' if you don't want to tell them you don't have to! I used to tell everyone that asked what I got, whereas now I'll only tell like three people because to me my results are private. 

This is very deep, and kind of sad! But sadly I can relate to this :/ ps (anyone else sing this) 

Decided to end this on a lighthearted note! Stay strong x 

I really hope this has helped you! This was very difficult for me to write, as of course it is very personal! But if I can help even one of you reading this, this makes everything worth it! If you've got this far thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed! (I'm going to try and start writing more light heart stuff as well, don't worry). I love you all so much,
  Lots of love,
                   Fiona x 

Instagram: @http.lookitsfifi
Snapchat: fifimc99 (I accept everyone) 
Twitter: @lookitsfifi fionamcnamara (you can ask me anything and I'll answer) 

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